Pollyanna Rules

Silver line in the cloud, there surely is no hurry, but would you mind showing up?!


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When the sun is always shining

It gets hard to find the silver lining.
No, I won’t start writing in rhymes (even though…), but the thought arrived in this exact form, and it seemed a shame to change it.

I have been really neglecting this blog, these last months.
Tough decisions tend to drain energy and hope, although they were probably good ones. Maybe they were not, and there are days I can’t help thinking that I’ve made a big, terrible mistake. Still, deep inside I know that I had to move on from a relationship that had become a cage.
I had to survive, somehow.

So here we go again.
I will have to give myself a task, a daily one, and try and stick to it. I’ve been through worse times, much worse times, I can’t let myself slip away for this. I need something to hold on to.

New project is: find something to be grateful for every day. Celebrate the little things. Friends, trips, books, a song, a smile from a stranger (hopefully I won’t stumble into stalkers 😂), a walk, a remainder of lives lost in an abandoned building…
No matter how much I sometimes enjoy drowning in self pity, I know that I have been blessed in many, many ways. I probably take it all for granted, and even the smallest disappointment seems a tragedy, and it’s time – again – to put things into perspective.
Let’s see how it goes.

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being forced to figure out what I want – a blessing in disguise

And so, silver lining.

Realising that your life is not turning out to be the way you’d planned, and that the one you love may never get out of theĀ horrible place he’s in, and having to deal with the guilt of wanting to go on with your life anyway. It was bad, tears were shed, dreams were shattered, hearts were stopped for some time.

But here’s what: I want to be happy, like everyone.
I want a job I love, again. I want to be loved. I want great sex every day, and talks, and laughter, and hugs, and fun, and support, and respect, and sharing, and adventure; and being there for someone, and knowing that he will be there for me. I want to go to bed at night knowing that I will wake up with the same man, and that every day can be a new, exciting beginning.

I want a home to go back to.