Pollyanna Rules

Silver line in the cloud, there surely is no hurry, but would you mind showing up?!


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A perfect day, like the song

In a way, I am now living the life I had always imagined for myself.

A foot home, a foot in another place that feels like home.

I always thought I would have found that place somewhere in Africa. For some time, I did.
And then, Beirut.

I don’t know what happened to me when I came here, it was different from what I thought, and exciting.
And as the excitement wore off, I found myself getting fonder and fonder of this city. The people, the smiles, the war torn buildings, the holes in the walls, the destruction, the construction, the crazy traffic.
Life.

What was meant to be only a short visit, became a long stay.

I love having somewhere to go back to.
See friends.

And again, what was meant to be only a short “hello”, became a day out.

Lovely.

I had missed the food. Not that I did not eat when I wasn’t here, but still.
So we had lunch, walked an hour looking for a coffee place I had been to a long time ago. And failed. The Street naming system here remains a mystery for me.
And there was sun, it was not too hot, we had to catch up. Nothing better than a stroll on the Corniche, then.

And guess what?

No, not pink sunsets this time, but amazingly blue clouds…

ok, the picture is not super blue, just trust me 😉

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I really need to write something about procrastination. One day. Maybe.

For the time being, I will just try to start writing regularly again, and follow the advice a sometimes wise, sometimes not, young (I guess) man gave me two months ago, when I first mentioned struggling with the blog.

I know you can’t wait to know what I have been up to these days weeks months, so here’s your prize for having been incredibly patient.

I moved to Lebanon. Really.
I thought it was going to be for a few weeks, but could not stay away for long, and now I am trying to find a way to stay here wothout drying up the little savings I have.
Maybe I will start working with refugees again. I would love to. How good would that be.
Trying to give back some of what I have received from life, join those who lost everything for a part of their journey towards a better life, a new beginning. It would be another gift to me, somehow, I suppose. But still, I would love to.

Will I be up to the task? Will I manage to be of some help and not an hindrance?
I hope so.

In the meantime, I am struggling a bit with my Arabic classes.
But then, I need to take this small step to get on the big road.

And take pictures along the way.

.Image


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Apocalyptic Pollyanna

So,
I have been struggling in the last few weeks to find something funny to talk about, or find the funny part in whatever was going on around me.
Truth is, there are times that no matter how hard you try to pick yourself up, you simply can’t. And you have no other option but to live with it. And hope for a better day, tomorrow.

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I moved in – work-wise – with demigod. The first week was a nightmare. The second was worse.
Having to go to his office ten times a day and answering his five daily calls and twenty e-mails was exhausting, but being three metres away, oh dear!, he sings and whistles and asks for anything any second, no way to concentrate on whatever it is you are doing. Trying to do, more like.
Then, well, I could not just feel miserable, and tried to find the good side in this…whatchamacallit.
I arrive hours before he does, and now that he knows it, he no longer frowns when I try to leave early.
And he makes me coffee.
And brought me a Christmas present.
And for the first time in my life I can take the week off.
And from my new window I SEE THE SKY!

So basically the Apocalypse was a nice improvement in my life.

...and then one starts to see the beautiful things again

…and then one starts to see the beautiful things again


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Life-Work balance?

I disappeared, I know.
I said I am lazy, didn’t I?

Anyway, I had been writing bits of would-be posts on random computers, at work, at home, at my parents’, on my mobile, even (not sure how to make the thing work properly, though) when I realised I had forgot  the password.
I did not worry at first, kept telling myself I would remember it tomorrow, and then tomorrow, and then tomorrow, and then…
did I mention I am lazy?

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Being constantly in between contracts, much of my free – and not only that, I must admit – time is devoted to job-hunting, which includes, when I am lucky, job interviews.

A few months back, I was asked to have an interview for a position I was slightly overqualified for. I am not particularly picky, when it comes to avoid starvation, so I went. Quite happily, and quite sure I would get the job.

Too bad it appeared that what most mattered was the knowledge of the local language.
Now, I am the kind of person who is terrified of going anywhere without knowing a bit of the language, but it was an “International” position in a supposedly international city, and no one ever mentioned the need to speak the local language.
I was angry and disappointed.
Then I told myself well,  I took a day off work, I flew to a place I had never been before, I saw a very lively demonstration, and was amazed at the punctuality of public transport. At no cost. Things could have been definitely worse.

Of course the other side of the story was that I had wasted half a weekend getting to the place, arrived at my airport very late, which meant I had no other option but to take a taxi.  Unless

And here comes the silver lining 🙂

Imagine going through that, imagine the disappointment and anger in finding out your interview was not supposed to make any difference.
Imagine having just started dating somebody you could only see during the weekend, and having missed your chance.
Imagine that person offering to drive you to the airport on Sunday morning, and to come pick you up on Monday night “if I don’t fall asleep”. Which is, of course, the case.

Imagine the surprise finding them in front of the airport,half asleep in the car.

I may not have got the job, but had I had to choose, I would not have changed a thing.♥


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And here we go. Again?!

And here we go. Again.There might be changes ahead.

A new job? I quite like the one I have, if I forget: 1- boss (one of the many, all bosses and no workers here), 2- pay, 3-tiny contracts, 4- unpaid overtime – because, hey, I’m a consultant after all. I may not sign the next mini-contract-extension and…
And try harder to get a better job. I got used to being useful and go to bed happy with what I had done, and what I would do the next day. It was good. It felt good. It meant a better life for someone. And it was not me.

A new house? a new city? a new Country? a new life?

Let’s see what happens.

I think I am ready.

I have to be.

how about a nice cup of tea